alcohol.

I used to be a heavy drinker. I was living with someone who made wine , just because it was a hobbie. I had full access to it at all times.

I would go to school , come home and drink 2-3 bottles of wine in few hour time span.. go to sleep wake up still intoxicate and go to school all day come home and repeat this over and over.

I never realized what I was doing or how bad it truly got.. I would drink just to drink. I still don't know the reason why I drank.. I never felt good.. I cried and got angry at everything and everyone. I felt like crap when I woke up in the morning. Half the time I never knew what I had said to people until I woke up the next day..

Sure I was working 2 jobs , going to school and still made honour roll. I had the money , I had no time but I still managed to always just feel like I needed to get drunk.. It wasn't to socialize.. I was by myself when I drank. I'd go to school wreaking like wine no matter how many times I had brushed my teeth. I never knew how bad it was until I met my boyfriend.. and I had given him a black eye in a fit of rage.. for no good reason. I can't justify it.

He gave me a choice.. Liquor or me.. I chose him. Its now been 3 years we have been together and I haven't drank for over 2 years. I am happier than ever. The smell of booze makes my stomach turn. I don't know how people can still drink. Yeah I never threw up never hurt myself.. BUT I put myself in many situations that I am really lucky someone was there to take me out of it.

It tore me and my family apart. Caused so many problems. I never understood.. I was too young.. Mixed in with the wrong people when I was younger.. Always just wanted to fit in. It should have been a sign when I couldn't handle my alcohol when I was younger that it wasn't going to change as I got older. It has made me loose friends.. lost my family for a long time. I was basically an alcoholic.

I am 20 years old and I grew out of my drinking stage before I had even turned 19. Besides my daughter , Its the best choice I have ever made. No turning back. Not saying I am more "mature" or anything along those lines because i'm not as mature as I like to think I am. But I was given a choice , Love of my life or self-destructing myself. I'm glad I made the right choice.